Monday, March 23, 2009


So today the gym didn't go the way I had planned. I get there and find out that my Monday class has been canceled due to spring break. I wouldn't have cared so much normally but it took everything in my being to actually go today! So instead of making myself work hard and push myself to the extreme, which my classes usually do for me, I gave it some weak sauce effort and came over to my mom's to use the computer.
Which leads me to my motivation question. If I hate being fat so much, why is it so hard to do what is right? I have been doing so good at going to the gym and eating healthy, when is it going to be a part of my everyday life without the struggle? If you could hear the thoughts inside my head as I drive to the gym everyday! It goes a little something like this. . . Oh I'm so tired. I'll just skip today and get back on track tomorrow. . . I really have been doing so good, it won't kill me to miss one day, right?. . . I'll eat really good today and skip my class, that'll be okay. . . and so on, you get the drift.

The great part is, I ignore those thoughts and go to my class. When my class is done, I feel like I am on top of the world. It is the best feeling. My mind is clear. My body is lighter. My outlook on tomorrow's class is brighter. My afternoon is easier. My attitude is cheerier. If I could feel that way all day everyday I'm certain I would never have to fight with myself about going to the gym again.

So far on my journey to a lesser me I have lost 40 pounds. It sounds like a lot. It is a lot. My instructor had me put 40 pounds of weight in a bag and carry it. I was shocked that I had been carrying that around for the past 9 plus years. I guess the negative side of me gets bummed to think that I have to fill 2 and a half more bags just like that to reach my goal. It's overwhelming to think about. Especially today after my non workout workout. But there's always tomorrow, Right???

So here's the ugly. . . I am about to share my stats with you. Grab a chair and get comfy. I feel like I need to be honest to my 5 readers so far:) When I went to the hospital to deliver my first baby, 9 years ago, I weighed 317 pounds. Since then I have tried many diets and tried to lose weight. This time has been the most successful. I currently weigh 256. It is the lowest I've weighed since I became pregnant 9 years ago. So naturally, I am thrilled. I do feel like this is it. This is the time my weight loss is going to happen. . . All the way to my goal. I, being an instant gratification type person, hence the chub, I want it to happen sooner then later. But I guess I'll take it pound by pound and inch by inch until I hit that magic number of. . .150!

So now that I feel I've cheated myself out of a work out. . . whats my major plan? Not a clue. Go back tomorrow and do my thing and just wait for that next sign of victory.


  1. I was a little concerned that after the title "motivation" there was a picture of me:) You will reach your goal! And then you will help me reach my goal:) Loves!

  2. WTG girl! So proud of you. I am with you. It's a battle. If it wasn't noone would be over weight. The difference? You are willing to do something about it! And to put yourself out there. SO proud of you. You are looking great!

  3. Make that 6 readers! :) Hey you at least still worked out- whether it was a butt kicking class or not, you still worked out- still burned calories! So thats something! You could have just turned around and left :) So I am proud of you! keep up the great work! In my best townie voice from The Waterboy... "YOU CAN DO IT!" :)

  4. Your honesty makes me want to be more honest with myself.I'll say it again- you INSPIRE me!!

  5. oh friend! I am right there with you every step of the way!

  6. Girl you are doing it!!! You inspire me to do better and stay on the wagon. I have that same talk with myself everyday. But unlike you, I don't always make it to class. So thanks for the motivation!

  7. Hey, Mindy! I'm not sure if you remember me or not...but I was good friends with Ryan, Josh & Nate Dunn in college. I remember hanging out at Grandma Dunn's house a lot!!! :)

    That's so awesome that you're on this journey! I'm actually on the same journey! I, too, have lost 40 lbs! Working hard and eating right. I am right there with you with the feelings you have about working out and actually getting there. I just tell myself that if I don't would make it that much easier to not go the next day...and the next...and then my cycle continues! I was 358 lbs at my heaviest and I hit 317.8 today!

    I'll put you in my prayers as I know that it's a daily struggle...

  8. I can TOTALLY relate to the dialogue in your head, that you were talking about. For me, it's not the getting there, but it's each minute I have to finish on the treadmill. It's definitely gotten better in the last couple of weeks, but it's all I can do to think positively while I'm running. I'm constantly thinking "don't look at the mileage for ten more seconds...just have to run five more minutes....I think I'll get off ten minutes early...etc. etc.". This negative thought process is so frustrating to me, because like you, I love the way I feel when I'm done. The sense of accomplishment is amazing and so motivating to come back the next day. YET, the next day, I think the same things.
    I'm excited to hear about and follow your journey. I've just started a journey of my own as well.

  9. Keep on going Mindy! I am so proud of you. I can't wait to see your progree in a few weeks when we visit. I am glad to see that you are taking the time for you. For everyone looking for motivation check out to read more success stories.